Posts Tagged ‘israel’

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The Farmer, The Warrior, The Merchant, The Lazy, & The Whore

August 23, 2011

In another life when I was studying at Al Akhawayn University I had an international relations professor called Dr. Kalpakian who told us once this: ‘’there was once a father who had 4 sons, the elder became a farmer and moved to Morocco, the second became a warrior and settled in Algeria, the third became a merchant and went to Tunisia, and the last one was so lazy that he remained at his father’s house in Libya’’. I remembered this tale now that we are living the time of harvests of the Arab Spring and would like to revisit each brother to see how they’ve been doing!

The Farmer: The farmer spent 12 centuries building his feudal kingdom, alternating periods of oppression and prosperity. Yet, despite the strange rituals he has been imposing on his people like kissing his hand, declaring himself holy by the constitution, or his mania of collecting human snakes, the farmer did a great job in the poor kingdom of Morocco. He inaugurated infrastructures, readjusted the structure of the economy and made the country a small paradise visited by 10 million tourists per year. In addition the Farmer built strong ties with the kingdom of Europa and is trying to reconcile between modernity and tradition which makes the citizens of Morocco looks schizophrenics most of the time!

The Warrior: The Warrior brother was so strong and brave in his youth that he liberated Marseille during WWII and sacrificed 1million martyr during the independence of Algeria from France. But once all great wars ended he found himself with a huge army without a job to do, so he started unnecessary civil war, a war with his brother the farmer and ever a war with Egypt about football! The people of the warrior brother will rise one day against social injustice and will condemn the generals who are stealing the country’s wealth; it’s just not their time yet!

The Merchant: He is the most charismatic of the four brothers. He can sell anything to anyone at any price! He lives in a country which is very open to foreigners and new tendencies and where women enjoy a great deal of freedom. One day a big dragon came to their land and cut the heads of women wearing Hijab and the tongues of men expression their anger, but the Merchant didn’t react because he was wise enough to wait until his offspring are well educated and until the house he was building is strong enough to resist the dragon. One day the brother realised that the dragon was allergic to Jasmines, so he planted so many that the dragon who hated religion escaped to the most religious country in the world!

The Lazy: The lazy brother was feeling misunderstood. It’s not that he is idle; it’s just that he enjoys more the simplicity of Bedouin life under a million stars in the big Sahara desert. One day a Jewish clown came to Libya and convinced its inhabitants to wear green sunglasses to the point that they started seeing everything around them green whereas in reality it was deserted and arid. Inspired by his merchant brother, the lazy decided to fight the evil clown and to die for the land of his ancestors and to clean Libya Zanga Zanga from the green glasses effect. Now on the Lazy deserves to have another name: The Brave!

The Whore: In fact the four brothers had a sister too which they chose to forget about because she was so rebellious. The sister was so charming and beautiful, with her pyramidal humps and her longue generous hair flowing like the Nile River. The sister was so adventurous during her youth that she decided to escape to Egypt and get enrolled in the Army. However, the poor girl didn’t seem to understand what happens to innocent girls in the army! She was raped and imprisoned for 58 years, and worse of all she was prostituted to her Eastern neighbour by the ruling generals to the extent that everyone forgot her real name ‘’Oum Eduniya’’ and started calling her The Whore. Despite her harsh condition the whore managed to fall in love with a Tunisian man who covered her naked body with Jasmine flowers, and so she gave birth secretly to a blessed baby: The Revolution. Unfortunately, we heard that the army generals are looking for the whore’s baby to slaughter him at birth and kill any hope of change!

I think it’s high time for a family reunion for the four brothers and their sister to support each other and learn from their experiences and why not live together in the same big house again!

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Egypt, Yes there is a Conspiracy, but you Should be Pragmatic!

February 4, 2011

Oh Man! We Arabs we are big fans of conspiracy theories. It is our favourite collective therapy to find bizarre explanations to everything that happens to us from who ate the last piece of cheese to who is behind the turmoil in Egypt?

So let’s start! Let’s suppose that Israel and the Americans are behind all this and they are operating through Qatar their classical military ally, by giving orders to Al Jazeera to exaggerate the demonstrations and to indoctrinate the public opinion to get rid of our poor Baba Hosny Mubarak.

You know what? I believe there is a real conspiracy against Egypt by these highly strategic people.

The proof is that they keep on saying that they are censoring El Jazeera and persecuting their poor reporters, but al Jazeera never stopped broadcasting the images. Knowing Amni Edawla in Egypt, if they wanted really to kick them out they would had long time ago. Second fact, don’t you find strange that the call for demonstrations started by a Google executive, and that after censoring the net it is again Google who invented this Speak to Tweet thing in less than a second? Ok the truth is elsewhere as they say in X-files lol

Then we have other facts… the ones of Mr. Hasona being a pharaoh for 30 years now. That he is getting way older than the international norms and his friends from the NDP and his son way too powerful than what they should. We have a rising generation of youth, using amazingly internet technologies to mobilize the masses but who all agree being not satisfied of the current situation in their motherland. This rising middle class can make a real revolution that can turn extremely secular or extremely Islamite if uncle Hasony comes to have a heart attack tomorrow. So why someone like Israel, US or the masters of the universe will take such a risk? Thant’s why they Assisted you in your ‘’PEACEFUL TRANSITION’’ quoting Obama. In a way that they do a peaceful transition with the character they see fit for their interests: Uncle Suleiman, or Uncle Amr Musa or even 3amo Baradei.

Now that you know all this what should you do?

1. Hold on Mubarak and risk that when he will die the masters will not do a ‘’PEACEFUL TRANSITION’’ anymore and you will join the Iraq Club

2. Continue fighting like puppets and ending up with a more democratic president but with the same framework which don’t serve the interests of the Egyptian people.

3. Being pragmatic while dealing with this conspiracy and getting rid of Mooby, but asking for the maximum you can get and involving as much new elites in the conspiracy as you can have.

Personally, I support option number 3. If you cooperate now you can have a prosperity phase where you can prepare for a more genuine revolution within less than 5 years with a more mature political elite (thing that you lack now), that would have emerged from January 25th Youth. And the good news for everyone is that; we would all have taken revenge from the black days of the current regime and sacrifice another pharaoh from the dynasty.

Fellow Egyptians, remember : you must be pragmatic even with a conspiracy!