Posts Tagged ‘mubarak’


They Masturbated Egypt!

November 24, 2011

If you think I am too vulgar, too bold or too choking, you can blame it on my 8 months pregnancy hormones if it can make you digest better what I have to say. That been said, let me tell you how much the system in Egypt thinks you are cheap with your dreams of change, to the extent that they deprived you from a real revolutionary orgasm after January 25th revolution, and preferred to gently masturbate your 58 years of military frustrations and propaganda by giving you fake fantasies of a glorious Egypt, while nothing has changed for the past 9 months.

Too Good to be True

“Too good to be true”, that’s the only relevent expression I can use to describe what happened in Tahrir Square in January 2011. We’ve seen civilised people chanting, peaceful demonstrations, supportive international community, and in less than a week a dictator, who ruled for more than 30 years, collapsed!

When you have been ruled since the 50s by a military regime, when you are neighbour with Israel, Sudan and Saudi Arabia, and when you have the Suez Canal and a frank Mediterranean coast facing Europe, don’t expect to change a complicated context in 18 days of camping in a square and tweeting to the world your rage. With my due respect to the more than 300 martyrs and all the honest youth, but they would have never let you do that and the proof is the brutal confrontations we are having with the police since the 19th of November as if nothing changed!

I was doing a fellowship two months ago, and had the change to meet the great Egyptian Dr. Makeen Makeen, who is a senior lecturer at SOAS, London. He explained how Egypt missed a historical momentum in Jan25 by not choosing to build a proper democracy according to the three famous post-conflict democratic models: the Japanese model which consists in turning the page and starting anew; the Hungarian model which led step by step reforms, and the South African model based on truth investigation and national reconciliation, which is the most relevent one for the Egyptian case. Instead, the SCAF in its quick masturbatory efforts chose to ignore all democracy models and to go for an Egyptocracy based on an improvised referendum and a cinematographic trial of Mubarak and company!

Walk like an Egyptian, Pee like an Egyptian

How nice and symbolic were all the pictures and the underground songs produced during the revolution… Yet, how over used and abused they were in feeding the nationalistice ego and keep the standards Egyptian busy while the regime was stealing his revolution! And don’t you think we also over abused the meaning of demonstrations to the extent it became a national sport or a friday carnival where friends hang out together, concerts are being held and promotional products being sold. I don’t say that Egyptians don’t have the right to celebrate, but let’s be very careful of not banalising non-violent protests, because it will mean that we started masturbating ourselves without the help of the regime.

In one of his note Adil Abel Wahab a theatre director from Alexadria described how Tahrir was a perfect theatre scene where everyone was just acting in front of live broadcasting international cameras. According to him the chanting, the trash collecting, the peaceful coexistence were all “Ethics of Tahrir” which we leave behind us once we leave the square and stop playing the role of the educated responsible citizens. After the nice scenes the world saw on TV, we still don’t clean in front of our own houses, the administration is still corrupted, the traffic still messy, the sexual harassment the same… So can you tell me what did we revolt against? Another shameful action was when Israel killed Egyptian soldiers on the borders. The normal attitude would have been the Sharaf’s government cutting economic and diplomatic ties with this country like what Turkey did and full stop. However, we preferred being uncivilised and creating a false icon of a flying men who stole a piece of cloth and young men sick enough to pee collectively on the wall of a historical building.

The Islamist and the Stripper

We all agree that one of the main winners of Jan25 was the islamist movements, whether the Muslim brotherhood or the Salafis, who jumped into the political scene and the neighbourhoods to mark their territories more sharply and openly than before, helped in that by their years of field experience and the balkanisation of the political scene in Egypt. During the last Eid El Adha it was so obvious that on the field the country was devived between the two main Islamist trends which control the allegiance of the masses with a religious stick. I have seen them building massive tents, organising huge charity events and even stopping you from parking your car in front of your house just “because they said so”!

Few days later, the country’s online community woke up horrified by the images of Alae Al Mahdi, a young wanna-be adolescent who published her naked pictures in a blog in order to defy patriarchal norms. This dicholomy shows one thing: there is a huge gap between virtual Egypt and Real Egypt. One is ruled my moustaches, and the other by liberal taboo-defying youth.

Now you can tell me it’s not your business, you are not even Egyptian or shut up and leave, but I may be Moroccan yet I carry an Egyptian citizen in my belly and I care very much about the country to whom he belongs which is my home too. I go every day carrying him inside of me to the demonstrations looking for hope for a better future in the tears of the blinded eyes by tear gas, in the blood of the youth who carelessly confront mighty police forces, in the smiles of the volunteer doctors, and in the phone calls of the worried parents. As a parent, I believe in the reloaded revolution, and would like my son to have more options than 50 more years of military masturbatory rule, or an islamist rule in which it will maybe Haram for lady Egypt to have a proper revolutionary orgasm!


Egypt, Yes there is a Conspiracy, but you Should be Pragmatic!

February 4, 2011

Oh Man! We Arabs we are big fans of conspiracy theories. It is our favourite collective therapy to find bizarre explanations to everything that happens to us from who ate the last piece of cheese to who is behind the turmoil in Egypt?

So let’s start! Let’s suppose that Israel and the Americans are behind all this and they are operating through Qatar their classical military ally, by giving orders to Al Jazeera to exaggerate the demonstrations and to indoctrinate the public opinion to get rid of our poor Baba Hosny Mubarak.

You know what? I believe there is a real conspiracy against Egypt by these highly strategic people.

The proof is that they keep on saying that they are censoring El Jazeera and persecuting their poor reporters, but al Jazeera never stopped broadcasting the images. Knowing Amni Edawla in Egypt, if they wanted really to kick them out they would had long time ago. Second fact, don’t you find strange that the call for demonstrations started by a Google executive, and that after censoring the net it is again Google who invented this Speak to Tweet thing in less than a second? Ok the truth is elsewhere as they say in X-files lol

Then we have other facts… the ones of Mr. Hasona being a pharaoh for 30 years now. That he is getting way older than the international norms and his friends from the NDP and his son way too powerful than what they should. We have a rising generation of youth, using amazingly internet technologies to mobilize the masses but who all agree being not satisfied of the current situation in their motherland. This rising middle class can make a real revolution that can turn extremely secular or extremely Islamite if uncle Hasony comes to have a heart attack tomorrow. So why someone like Israel, US or the masters of the universe will take such a risk? Thant’s why they Assisted you in your ‘’PEACEFUL TRANSITION’’ quoting Obama. In a way that they do a peaceful transition with the character they see fit for their interests: Uncle Suleiman, or Uncle Amr Musa or even 3amo Baradei.

Now that you know all this what should you do?

1. Hold on Mubarak and risk that when he will die the masters will not do a ‘’PEACEFUL TRANSITION’’ anymore and you will join the Iraq Club

2. Continue fighting like puppets and ending up with a more democratic president but with the same framework which don’t serve the interests of the Egyptian people.

3. Being pragmatic while dealing with this conspiracy and getting rid of Mooby, but asking for the maximum you can get and involving as much new elites in the conspiracy as you can have.

Personally, I support option number 3. If you cooperate now you can have a prosperity phase where you can prepare for a more genuine revolution within less than 5 years with a more mature political elite (thing that you lack now), that would have emerged from January 25th Youth. And the good news for everyone is that; we would all have taken revenge from the black days of the current regime and sacrifice another pharaoh from the dynasty.

Fellow Egyptians, remember : you must be pragmatic even with a conspiracy!


Let’s toast for Mubarak

April 1, 2010

In a crazy after party in a bar on the roof of Odeon hotel in Cairo the discussions started getting political as usual, when suddenly a bourgeois boy who was with us said proudly “We should thank our honourable president Hosni Mubarak because it is thanks to him that we are free in this country and that we can still party, club and drink alcohol with our friends” and he lifted the bottle of his flavoured Vodka and proposed a toast to Mubarak. Indeed, Egyptian youth from rich classes are the biggest defenders of the Pharaonic system of Mubarak. You will hear them say the same sentence “we have lots of external enemies and it is thanks to Mubarak that we are living in peace and stability”, as it is what they grown up hearing from their parents who are the first beneficiaries of the regime.

The day before I was with my friend at a small hairdresser downtown, where the old coiffeur was more concentrated on the little suspended television than on the brushing of my friend. On the TV there was a famous presenter called Amr Adib who was shouting “is it possible that in 80 million Egyptians there is no one to be the model for the future generations for young Egyptians? Is it possible that we have no one to rule Egypt except from a 80 years old man or a man coming from abroad?”. The old coiffeur then turned to me and said while laughing “Mubarak is the 4th pyramid; our children were born and grown up having him as a president. It will be difficult to imagine having someone else”. At that moment I recalled what one of my Egyptian friends was telling me about how Egyptians suffer from what he calls the complex of the Pharaoh, as they venerate their dictators and subconsciously love to be enslaved by mighty rulers, which is a complex developed from the pharaonic era where the leaders where considered immortal Gods.

In the place where young intellectuals and false intellectuals meet in Alexandria called Attujariya, it has been many months now that the main subject of discussion is the 2011 Elections. Many activists from the civil society are supporter of the nuclear expert Al Barad3i as a president of a transition period until a better candidate arises. Others, will argue while smoking their M3assel chicha, that the political elites in Egypt are unable to regenerate, therefore Jamal Mubarak the son of the President is not a bad choice at least he has the support of the economical elites of the country. A third category will start repeating that Egypt bomb which will explode soon because the future is uncertain and the political scene empty. If you are assisting to this kind of discussions the wisest thing to do is to remain silent and listen, since the Egyptians would insult King Faruk, Nasser, Sadat, Mubarat … but will never allow anyone to insult them. Another interesting fact is that if you are from an Arab country they will tend to say “we are all in the same boat” or “all our leaders are the same” as a way to reduce their pain, even if the average Egyptian have never visited another Arab country other than Saudia Arabia and have no insight about the political dynamics in these countries aside from what they hear in Al Arabiya or Al Jazeera, which mainly shows conflicts.

One thing is sure; the Egyptian Nationalism is a huge capital which just needs to be oriented the right way. Egypt is not a peace country as the history shows. It was constantly invading or being evaded by other powers which helped forging the Egyptian Nationalistic feelings in order to face external threats. Since Camp David, the country is leaving a period of prudent peace which is maybe bad for a war country like Egypt. If my theory is right, the Egyptians should start a real war very fast! With the economical crisis in Greece, it is most probable that the Greeks will start considering invading economically Egypt again, maybe it will help shaking the Egyptian identity for a while. Similar identity awakenings happened during the last years and showed that Egypt is still a Nation. The first one was during the Gaza war when the Egyptian soldier was shot, and the most interesting one was during the World Cup qualifications, when the Egyptians considered the football field as a national territory to be liberated from the Algerian invader, especially that the Egyptian map looks somehow like the rectangle of a football field.

Some of my journalist friends think that Egypt was always ruled by aliens, as the leaders were mainly foreigners (Greeks, Persians, Turks, Albanians, Hijazis …) or by locals who were transformed to Gods to become worth ruling the land of the great Nile. Nasser and Sadat of course gave back the rule to the normal Egyptians which explain why they died both in strange circumstances before giving the rules to an aviator from the countryside of Munufiya who was crowned president since 1981. After the era of Gods, the era of foreigners and the era of peasants I personally think that Egypt needs a future president who is Egyptian in his soul and identity but who comes from abroad with a new vision and education, somehow like a half blood prince, and this time it would be better if it is a cosmonaut not an aviator to speed up the changes in this great country. Meanwhile, let’s all just toast for the future of Egypt!