Posts Tagged ‘politics’


The Farmer, The Warrior, The Merchant, The Lazy, & The Whore

August 23, 2011

In another life when I was studying at Al Akhawayn University I had an international relations professor called Dr. Kalpakian who told us once this: ‘’there was once a father who had 4 sons, the elder became a farmer and moved to Morocco, the second became a warrior and settled in Algeria, the third became a merchant and went to Tunisia, and the last one was so lazy that he remained at his father’s house in Libya’’. I remembered this tale now that we are living the time of harvests of the Arab Spring and would like to revisit each brother to see how they’ve been doing!

The Farmer: The farmer spent 12 centuries building his feudal kingdom, alternating periods of oppression and prosperity. Yet, despite the strange rituals he has been imposing on his people like kissing his hand, declaring himself holy by the constitution, or his mania of collecting human snakes, the farmer did a great job in the poor kingdom of Morocco. He inaugurated infrastructures, readjusted the structure of the economy and made the country a small paradise visited by 10 million tourists per year. In addition the Farmer built strong ties with the kingdom of Europa and is trying to reconcile between modernity and tradition which makes the citizens of Morocco looks schizophrenics most of the time!

The Warrior: The Warrior brother was so strong and brave in his youth that he liberated Marseille during WWII and sacrificed 1million martyr during the independence of Algeria from France. But once all great wars ended he found himself with a huge army without a job to do, so he started unnecessary civil war, a war with his brother the farmer and ever a war with Egypt about football! The people of the warrior brother will rise one day against social injustice and will condemn the generals who are stealing the country’s wealth; it’s just not their time yet!

The Merchant: He is the most charismatic of the four brothers. He can sell anything to anyone at any price! He lives in a country which is very open to foreigners and new tendencies and where women enjoy a great deal of freedom. One day a big dragon came to their land and cut the heads of women wearing Hijab and the tongues of men expression their anger, but the Merchant didn’t react because he was wise enough to wait until his offspring are well educated and until the house he was building is strong enough to resist the dragon. One day the brother realised that the dragon was allergic to Jasmines, so he planted so many that the dragon who hated religion escaped to the most religious country in the world!

The Lazy: The lazy brother was feeling misunderstood. It’s not that he is idle; it’s just that he enjoys more the simplicity of Bedouin life under a million stars in the big Sahara desert. One day a Jewish clown came to Libya and convinced its inhabitants to wear green sunglasses to the point that they started seeing everything around them green whereas in reality it was deserted and arid. Inspired by his merchant brother, the lazy decided to fight the evil clown and to die for the land of his ancestors and to clean Libya Zanga Zanga from the green glasses effect. Now on the Lazy deserves to have another name: The Brave!

The Whore: In fact the four brothers had a sister too which they chose to forget about because she was so rebellious. The sister was so charming and beautiful, with her pyramidal humps and her longue generous hair flowing like the Nile River. The sister was so adventurous during her youth that she decided to escape to Egypt and get enrolled in the Army. However, the poor girl didn’t seem to understand what happens to innocent girls in the army! She was raped and imprisoned for 58 years, and worse of all she was prostituted to her Eastern neighbour by the ruling generals to the extent that everyone forgot her real name ‘’Oum Eduniya’’ and started calling her The Whore. Despite her harsh condition the whore managed to fall in love with a Tunisian man who covered her naked body with Jasmine flowers, and so she gave birth secretly to a blessed baby: The Revolution. Unfortunately, we heard that the army generals are looking for the whore’s baby to slaughter him at birth and kill any hope of change!

I think it’s high time for a family reunion for the four brothers and their sister to support each other and learn from their experiences and why not live together in the same big house again!


Revolution Made in Morocco

February 21, 2011

I am someone who is pro Feb20 movement, who thinks my country deserves dignity and real structural reforms and that it is a real revolution to see the Moroccan youth reinvesting the political sphere. Yet, it is very important at this level to do some self-criticism and to give some explanations about the standard Moroccan attitude in politics, life and in demonstrations. You may consider this an auto-flagellation of a Moroccan young person who dreams of change.

Enjoy the Moroccan 20 wonders:

1 – In other countries people set themselves on fire if angry, in Morocco we set other people on fire

2 – In other countries police oppress the citizens,  in Morocco citizens oppress the police

3 – 30.000 people want to change the constitution, 30 million Moroccan never read the constitution

4 – in other countries the leaders of demonstrators get kidnapped and beaten, in morocco we took Rachid Spirit Zata to a 5 stars hotel and bought him a new shirt to meet foreign Media

‎5 – in other countries when they finish the demonstrations they camp in the square, in Morocco we go to a bar for the after party

6 – in other countries they form a human chain to protect the goods, in Morocco we formed a human chain so thugs can steal freely the goods from Zara and Guess

7 – in other countries the enemy is the police or the army, in Morocco the enemy in Mr. Ronald Mc Donald

‎8 – in other countries the national media didn’t cover the events, in Morocco the national media covered everything as if it was a football match of the national team and they even invited bloggers, sportsmen and singers to react

9 – in other countries the regime pays thugs and mercenaries to destroy the country, in Morocco the thugs volunteer to destroy and even pay for their own transportation fees from their countryside

10 – in other countries they demonstrate because they couldn’t find a job, in Morocco we demonstrate because we don’t want to pass the entrance exam of the jobs the state offers us

11- in other countries they hate the political parties so they fire them, in Morocco we hate the political parties so we want to take the executive power from the king and give it to them

12 – in other countries people go vote and the results are falsified,  in Morocco we don’t go vote the results are not falsified but we still contest them just because we don’t like them

13 – in other countries the authorities use water cannons to calm down the crowd, in Morocco God sent us the rains to calm us down

14 – in other countries the authorities deny the existence of any conflict, in Morocco the authorities used facebook, twitter, press conferences and meetings with the demonstrators but we still can’t understand each other

15 – in other countries parliament members don’t participate in demonstrations, in Morocco some parliament members participate in demonstrations Sunday but don’t go to their office Monday

16 – in other countries they are calling for investigating the human right crimes and to engage in human development, in Morocco it has been 12 years that we are doing reconciliation and human development  but no one seems to be seeing it

17 – in other countries the freedom of press is oppressed and they call for more openness, in Morocco some journalists are unethical and still call for their right to practice defamation against public figures freely

18 – in other countries they demonstrate and then clean up the streets from the mess, in Morocco they demonstrate and make it even more messy on purpose to give more job to the street cleaners

19 – in other countries they don’t let foreign media cover the events, in Morocco foreign media don’t have anything sensational to cover so they invent fake news and footage

20 – in other countries there is quite a unanimity about the desire to withdraw the regime, in Morocco without referendum, unanimity or elections, 30.000 decided on behalf of 30 million that Morocco should be a secular parliamentary monarchy, and still call themselves democrats !


Let’s toast for Mubarak

April 1, 2010

In a crazy after party in a bar on the roof of Odeon hotel in Cairo the discussions started getting political as usual, when suddenly a bourgeois boy who was with us said proudly “We should thank our honourable president Hosni Mubarak because it is thanks to him that we are free in this country and that we can still party, club and drink alcohol with our friends” and he lifted the bottle of his flavoured Vodka and proposed a toast to Mubarak. Indeed, Egyptian youth from rich classes are the biggest defenders of the Pharaonic system of Mubarak. You will hear them say the same sentence “we have lots of external enemies and it is thanks to Mubarak that we are living in peace and stability”, as it is what they grown up hearing from their parents who are the first beneficiaries of the regime.

The day before I was with my friend at a small hairdresser downtown, where the old coiffeur was more concentrated on the little suspended television than on the brushing of my friend. On the TV there was a famous presenter called Amr Adib who was shouting “is it possible that in 80 million Egyptians there is no one to be the model for the future generations for young Egyptians? Is it possible that we have no one to rule Egypt except from a 80 years old man or a man coming from abroad?”. The old coiffeur then turned to me and said while laughing “Mubarak is the 4th pyramid; our children were born and grown up having him as a president. It will be difficult to imagine having someone else”. At that moment I recalled what one of my Egyptian friends was telling me about how Egyptians suffer from what he calls the complex of the Pharaoh, as they venerate their dictators and subconsciously love to be enslaved by mighty rulers, which is a complex developed from the pharaonic era where the leaders where considered immortal Gods.

In the place where young intellectuals and false intellectuals meet in Alexandria called Attujariya, it has been many months now that the main subject of discussion is the 2011 Elections. Many activists from the civil society are supporter of the nuclear expert Al Barad3i as a president of a transition period until a better candidate arises. Others, will argue while smoking their M3assel chicha, that the political elites in Egypt are unable to regenerate, therefore Jamal Mubarak the son of the President is not a bad choice at least he has the support of the economical elites of the country. A third category will start repeating that Egypt bomb which will explode soon because the future is uncertain and the political scene empty. If you are assisting to this kind of discussions the wisest thing to do is to remain silent and listen, since the Egyptians would insult King Faruk, Nasser, Sadat, Mubarat … but will never allow anyone to insult them. Another interesting fact is that if you are from an Arab country they will tend to say “we are all in the same boat” or “all our leaders are the same” as a way to reduce their pain, even if the average Egyptian have never visited another Arab country other than Saudia Arabia and have no insight about the political dynamics in these countries aside from what they hear in Al Arabiya or Al Jazeera, which mainly shows conflicts.

One thing is sure; the Egyptian Nationalism is a huge capital which just needs to be oriented the right way. Egypt is not a peace country as the history shows. It was constantly invading or being evaded by other powers which helped forging the Egyptian Nationalistic feelings in order to face external threats. Since Camp David, the country is leaving a period of prudent peace which is maybe bad for a war country like Egypt. If my theory is right, the Egyptians should start a real war very fast! With the economical crisis in Greece, it is most probable that the Greeks will start considering invading economically Egypt again, maybe it will help shaking the Egyptian identity for a while. Similar identity awakenings happened during the last years and showed that Egypt is still a Nation. The first one was during the Gaza war when the Egyptian soldier was shot, and the most interesting one was during the World Cup qualifications, when the Egyptians considered the football field as a national territory to be liberated from the Algerian invader, especially that the Egyptian map looks somehow like the rectangle of a football field.

Some of my journalist friends think that Egypt was always ruled by aliens, as the leaders were mainly foreigners (Greeks, Persians, Turks, Albanians, Hijazis …) or by locals who were transformed to Gods to become worth ruling the land of the great Nile. Nasser and Sadat of course gave back the rule to the normal Egyptians which explain why they died both in strange circumstances before giving the rules to an aviator from the countryside of Munufiya who was crowned president since 1981. After the era of Gods, the era of foreigners and the era of peasants I personally think that Egypt needs a future president who is Egyptian in his soul and identity but who comes from abroad with a new vision and education, somehow like a half blood prince, and this time it would be better if it is a cosmonaut not an aviator to speed up the changes in this great country. Meanwhile, let’s all just toast for the future of Egypt!