Posts Tagged ‘religion’

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X Islam +18

March 25, 2012

Why Islamic clergies are obsessed by the sexual life of the believers? Why their entire genie is focused on erotic and sexual jurisprudence? Why instead of finding solutions to the daily real problems of Muslims such as health, education and elementary goods prices rise, they would rather compete who will release the most bizarre X Fatwa? Most of us prefer to laugh about these Fatwas and share them on social media with their friends, but after a while I stopped finding it funny and decided to denounce this furry of odd Islamic instructions without reserve because I will not let some sick ‘’Sheikh’’ with a two mitres long beard and a questionable Islamic studies degree tell Me, the standard honourable Muslim, how to live my life!

We all remember the Egyptian Sheikh who asked women to breastfeed their colleagues at work so they will all become ‘’breastfeeding sons’’, and the women can go to work freely starting from that moment! This ignorant religious man, who obviously ignores everything about adult sexuality and psychology, seems not considering that an adult woman giving her breast to an adult man is a sexual act and moreover in all professional ethics around the world it would be a scandal to have such practices in working spaces!

More absurd were the recent Saudi religious statements that women shouldn’t drive cars because driving can make them loose their virginity! Are you serious? I really don’t see the difference between sitting on a comfortable couch and sitting on a car seat, or did the generous Saudi Sheikhs did a special experiment that we don’t know about on car seat and found hidden phalluses who target women while driving. And if true in that case the hidden phalluses must have targeted their manly fat behinds as well!

Another Fatwa was advising that women shouldn’t eat cucumbers or bananas because their shape can suggest a male phallus, which according to the same bizarre Islamic jurisprudence would push women to commit the deadly sin of flesh. I will respond by saying in that case we should stop men from eating peaches, plums and apples or any circular fruits that may suggest a female breast. We can push our sick imagination to the extremes and ban men from smoking Shisha, because of the homosexual act it can imply! If God wanted us to have a special dietary according to our gender, I think he would have said so in the abandon literature he sent us.

The Egyptian Salafi presidential candidate Hazem Salah Abu Smail, who was a Sheikh in a recent past life, has his own bizarre theories, as he was suggesting few years ago to cover all pharaonic statutes with giant underwear not to show their flesh because, according to him, these monuments were symbols of pagan idolatry. Imagine with me one second what Egypt would be without its mummies and hieroglyphs and how we’ll have to print new postcards of Egypt with the Sphinx wearing a giant dipper!

Morocco is not an exception to this sexual fever, as we have our own parliamentarian, the very emancipated and liberal Sheikh Zamzami, who stood last year for the freedom of masturbation and who was back this year with the brilliant fatwa which says that sex toys are Halal to release the frustration of women! All this in a schizophrenic country where a first sex toy shop was just opened in Casablanca while the sexist law forced the minor Amina Filali to marry her rapist according to the article 475 in order to save her family’s ‘’honour’’!

This obsession of some Islamic clergies by sex as one of the main taboos in our region, enhanced by media and social media where the users would always choose to share the sensational and bizarre news, is a very dangerous phenomena which not only compromises the image of Islam in the world picturing Muslims as sexual animals, but also makes the standard open minded Muslim like myself feel ashamed of these reductionist instructions and want to grow a beard and release a Fatwa to kill all this frustrated Sheikhs!

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They Masturbated Egypt!

November 24, 2011

If you think I am too vulgar, too bold or too choking, you can blame it on my 8 months pregnancy hormones if it can make you digest better what I have to say. That been said, let me tell you how much the system in Egypt thinks you are cheap with your dreams of change, to the extent that they deprived you from a real revolutionary orgasm after January 25th revolution, and preferred to gently masturbate your 58 years of military frustrations and propaganda by giving you fake fantasies of a glorious Egypt, while nothing has changed for the past 9 months.

Too Good to be True

“Too good to be true”, that’s the only relevent expression I can use to describe what happened in Tahrir Square in January 2011. We’ve seen civilised people chanting, peaceful demonstrations, supportive international community, and in less than a week a dictator, who ruled for more than 30 years, collapsed!

When you have been ruled since the 50s by a military regime, when you are neighbour with Israel, Sudan and Saudi Arabia, and when you have the Suez Canal and a frank Mediterranean coast facing Europe, don’t expect to change a complicated context in 18 days of camping in a square and tweeting to the world your rage. With my due respect to the more than 300 martyrs and all the honest youth, but they would have never let you do that and the proof is the brutal confrontations we are having with the police since the 19th of November as if nothing changed!

I was doing a fellowship two months ago, and had the change to meet the great Egyptian Dr. Makeen Makeen, who is a senior lecturer at SOAS, London. He explained how Egypt missed a historical momentum in Jan25 by not choosing to build a proper democracy according to the three famous post-conflict democratic models: the Japanese model which consists in turning the page and starting anew; the Hungarian model which led step by step reforms, and the South African model based on truth investigation and national reconciliation, which is the most relevent one for the Egyptian case. Instead, the SCAF in its quick masturbatory efforts chose to ignore all democracy models and to go for an Egyptocracy based on an improvised referendum and a cinematographic trial of Mubarak and company!

Walk like an Egyptian, Pee like an Egyptian

How nice and symbolic were all the pictures and the underground songs produced during the revolution… Yet, how over used and abused they were in feeding the nationalistice ego and keep the standards Egyptian busy while the regime was stealing his revolution! And don’t you think we also over abused the meaning of demonstrations to the extent it became a national sport or a friday carnival where friends hang out together, concerts are being held and promotional products being sold. I don’t say that Egyptians don’t have the right to celebrate, but let’s be very careful of not banalising non-violent protests, because it will mean that we started masturbating ourselves without the help of the regime.

In one of his note Adil Abel Wahab a theatre director from Alexadria described how Tahrir was a perfect theatre scene where everyone was just acting in front of live broadcasting international cameras. According to him the chanting, the trash collecting, the peaceful coexistence were all “Ethics of Tahrir” which we leave behind us once we leave the square and stop playing the role of the educated responsible citizens. After the nice scenes the world saw on TV, we still don’t clean in front of our own houses, the administration is still corrupted, the traffic still messy, the sexual harassment the same… So can you tell me what did we revolt against? Another shameful action was when Israel killed Egyptian soldiers on the borders. The normal attitude would have been the Sharaf’s government cutting economic and diplomatic ties with this country like what Turkey did and full stop. However, we preferred being uncivilised and creating a false icon of a flying men who stole a piece of cloth and young men sick enough to pee collectively on the wall of a historical building.

The Islamist and the Stripper

We all agree that one of the main winners of Jan25 was the islamist movements, whether the Muslim brotherhood or the Salafis, who jumped into the political scene and the neighbourhoods to mark their territories more sharply and openly than before, helped in that by their years of field experience and the balkanisation of the political scene in Egypt. During the last Eid El Adha it was so obvious that on the field the country was devived between the two main Islamist trends which control the allegiance of the masses with a religious stick. I have seen them building massive tents, organising huge charity events and even stopping you from parking your car in front of your house just “because they said so”!

Few days later, the country’s online community woke up horrified by the images of Alae Al Mahdi, a young wanna-be adolescent who published her naked pictures in a blog in order to defy patriarchal norms. This dicholomy shows one thing: there is a huge gap between virtual Egypt and Real Egypt. One is ruled my moustaches, and the other by liberal taboo-defying youth.

Now you can tell me it’s not your business, you are not even Egyptian or shut up and leave, but I may be Moroccan yet I carry an Egyptian citizen in my belly and I care very much about the country to whom he belongs which is my home too. I go every day carrying him inside of me to the demonstrations looking for hope for a better future in the tears of the blinded eyes by tear gas, in the blood of the youth who carelessly confront mighty police forces, in the smiles of the volunteer doctors, and in the phone calls of the worried parents. As a parent, I believe in the reloaded revolution, and would like my son to have more options than 50 more years of military masturbatory rule, or an islamist rule in which it will maybe Haram for lady Egypt to have a proper revolutionary orgasm!

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The Tale of the Bridge

September 11, 2009

bridgeOnce upon a time there used to be a wild moody white sea in the hearth of the blue planet. On the north coast of the sea there was the kingdom of Eurapia, a kingdom of infinite green fertile lands and hard working people. On the south coast of the sea however, was situated another kingdom, the kingdom of Arapia, a land of endless charming sand and generous people. Eurapians never saw any Arapians in their life, and Arapians only heard about Eurapians from the stories reported by the sailors. Yet, every night both people would sit in front of the sea to watch the lights coming from the other shore and tell stories of monsters, ogres and tyrants living on the other side.

The Land of Eurapia has witnessed many wars in order to get united and lost many young men and women. Therefore, the kingdom needed workers to cultivate the soil and harvest the land otherwise the wheat fields will be spoiled. On the other part of the sea, drought hit the lands of Arapia for years and its numerous populations started facing the danger of starvation. Both kingdoms started thinking about solutions to avoid the misfortune that came to perturb their peaceful lives in the White Sea, but were unable to find sustainable solutions.

The Eurapian king had a beautiful and wise daughter called Sofia who came to him one day and said: “The wheat fields are getting spoiled and the only solution is to hire Arapian workers to save our kingdom”. The king turned red in anger and said: “How you dare to say that! Arapians are barbarians they invaded our land in the past, they imposed their Gods and stole our treasures. These people are backward bloody creatures who cover the faces of their women and kill with their swords whoever wants to approach them.” Sofia was chocked by her father’s reaction, and said before living the royal hall: “I hope that you will not let prejudice blinding you, and sacrifice your people for your fears”.

The Arapian king also had an intelligent lovely daughter called Hikmat, who tried to convince her father that the only way to save Arapia from starvation is to trade with the northern neighbors, but the king screamed in rage: “I don’t want to hear this subject anymore. Have you forgotten what their ancestors did to us? They attacked our lands, killed our men and separated our tribes. These people are arrogant greedy creatures who let their girls run naked and enslave who ever go to their lands.” Hikmat felt very sorry for her father’s attitude, and said in bitterness: “I know you are a wise king, so don’t let your stereotypes influence your judgment”.

Sofia and Hikmat sit each on her shore morning the fate of their people and picturing the obscure future of their dear lands. After hours of tears and sending smoke messages to each other as they used to do since they were kids, the two girls decided that it is high time to take action, so they started sailing with their small boats against the deadly waves of the sea until they reached the midway between the two kingdoms. However, before living to the unknown the princesses left a note to their people saying: “Beloved people, we decided to scarify our lives and to sail until the midway between the two kingdoms and remain there without food or water because we trust in our common future and that we can’t survive without getting together with our neighbors. If you want to save us and save your selves, you will have to build a bridge across the White Sea each from your side as a prove of your will to overcome your mutual prejudice and go further together”.

Two days have passed and the two kingdoms gathered all their wise men, armies and councilors to find a solution and save the princesses, but the two armies were tired of endless wars and the wise men weak because of the lack of food, so they both decided that they have nothing to lose and that they should take the risk of trusting the other and finally building the bridge between Eurapia and Arapia.